How To Survive A Plane Crash

1. Fasten seatbelt
2. Let the flow of oxygen numb your mind.
3. Throw away your worldly cares for objects, people, and ambitions.
4. Relax your body entirely.
5. Prepare for the onset of death; oblivion; the Afterlife -- whatever beliefs you hold of the shadowy mystery that lies beyond life.
6. Upon impact, do not brace yourself.
7. Watch in silent serenity your life's story.
8. Allow your body to smash forward into the front seat, hearing the awful screeching crash and twisting metal, watching the entrails from passengers near you splattering against the windows as they expire amidst blackened smoke and hot fire.
9. Bruised and worse-for-wear, you've been preserved by becoming one with your descending vessel of doom, relaxing and allowing Death to come.
10. For those who expect it do not respect it -- and respect for Death is his natural repellant.